Fine Point Pen

break # 3

2006-01-09T19:50:00.000-08:00

I'm drinking green tea and reading up on Candada's left-wing politics, especially on the positions of The Bloc Québécois, which is dedicated to securing sovereignity for Quebec. Deathcab for Cutie's Company Calls Epilogue is playing in the background, and I can't help but remember that Quebec was just a strategically useful country to hold when my father and I used play Risk.

Monopoly and Risk as metaphors military and economy, we Americans teach our young to play aggressively from the start. We re-enact battles from previous wars, even as we send our young to fight in another. Free-trade is war by any other name -- thanks in part to the re-structuring of the world's economy after the Bretton Woods Conference.

Projection of force, both military and economic, is absolutely necessary in securing freedom. Marketing toy canisters of mustard gas to children, complete with Nazi action-figures, or Panzer division tanks in all their graphic detail, however, is not.

ethics # one

2006-01-06T18:22:00.001-08:00

I was reading The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding Ethics last night, specifically the section on immigration. After some thought, I would describe my feelings towards immigration control with the following sentence: The United States federal government holds a higher responsibility to its citizens than to non-citizens, and thus must consider the security of its citizens above the pursuit of happiness of non-citizens, even if they share equally valuable claims.

Specifically, I am speaking to the security of the citizens of the United States of America versus the desired propserity on non-citizens.

Hidden assumptions in this view include: the fact that natural, inalienable rights of man to life, liberty and property exist independent of naturalization. That both U.S. citizens and non-citizens are seeking to exercise those rights in the controversy surrounding immigration. And, finally, that both of their claims to these natural rights are equally valid.

The United States government has a contract with its citizens, known as the Constitution. We elect leaders to serve on our behalf, to represent our best interests and to secure our safety and prosperity. Additionally, citizens fund the government (in all levels) through taxes, which can be considered the method of exchange in the contract for our safety. Non-citizens are not party to this contract, and therefore, bear a less significant relationship with the United States federal government. Therefore, it is incumbent upon the federal government to ply the interests of those with whom they bear a contractial relationship above those with whom they do not.

in the news # two

2006-01-05T22:45:00.000-08:00

Jose Padilla, an alleged Al Qaeda operative, made his first court appearance Thursday after being held as an "enemy combatant" for more than 3 years.

Padilla, who was transfered from military to civilian custudy, was the subject of a lawsuit that the Bush administration took to the Supreme Court.

The decision handed down by the high court allowing criminal charges to be brought against Padilla is a temporary victory for the Bush administration, who asked the court to accept a transfer order shortly after filing charges.

In May 2002 Padilla was arrested at the Chicago O'Hare airport on charges that he sought to detonate a radioactive "dirty bomb" inside of the United States. After being taken into custody, Padilla was held for approximately 3 1/2 years without legal rights and without charges being filed against him.

The Bush administration argued that the criminal charges made the Supreme Court appeal of several civil rights groups moot. The Supreme Court had been asked to define the nature of Presidental power in reference to civilian detention. However, the Bush administration circumvented the Supreme Court's analysis on this issue for the time being.
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I'll admit that I am skeptical of the expansion of the Executive Branch during the Bush administration. I'm well aware that we need to fight Islamofascists with every possible tool, and that our leaders view this sort of detention as a necessary aspect of fighting the War on Terrorism. Hopefully we haven't scarified too much for our security. As it stands right now, I think i'm in favor of doing whatever's necessary to "enemy combatants" who are not legal citizens of the United States. If the "enemy combatant" is a citizen of the U.S., however, I think we must give them their rights (and charge them with treason!).

in the news # one

2006-01-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

A coal mine explosion trapped 13 West Virginia coal miners approximately 260 feet underground on Monday.

Federal regulators cited the mine in question 208 times in 2005 and 68 times in 2004 for alleged safety violations. Ninety-six of the citations issued in 2005 were considered "significant and substantial" by inspectors from the U.S. Labor Department.

The question then becomes: What sort of teeth do these violations carry, and why wasn't this prevented.

With all due consideration given to the danger of working in a mine, the number of alleged violations issued by the U.S. Labor Department seems to suggest that such an event was waiting to happen. The violations represent an effort at prevention, however, it seems that they were ignored.

The West Virginia state government, along with the United States federal government, must necessarily take an interest in the protection of its citizens -- including the places in which they are employed. This is not to say, however, that the government has a right to encroach upon the business practices of an employer. There's a tricky balance between protecting employees' rights, and unduly interfering with the individual freedom of the employer. When an employer is able to shirk violations of personal safety, that balance becomes tipped in the favor of government action.

The government therefore, respectful of the local economy, must interject for the protection of the employees working in the mine. Therefore, other mines with possible violations of safety must be forced into compulsion. Something that could have been prevented is not an accident, and this, judging by the alleged safety violations, could have been prevented.
---

God bless the families of the minors, and the minors themselves.

Addition: The miners have been found. The status of the miners, who have died, has been miscommunicated to their families. In the early morning hours, chaos is everywhere. I expect lawsuits shall be filed.

reading # one

2006-01-03T00:41:00.000-08:00

In Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation Joseph J. Ellis writes:

"The politics of the 1790s was a truly cacophonous affair. Previous historicans have labeled it "the Age of Passion" for good reason, for in terms of shrill accusatory rhetoric, flamboyant displays of ideological intransigence, intense personal rivalries, and hyperbolic claims of imminent catastrophe, it has no equal in American history. The political dialogue within the highest echelon of the revolutionary generation was a decade-long shouting match."

It's refreshing to me to read those words. I spend an enromous amount of time consuming politics, both from primary (politicans) and secondary (media outlets) sources. It's hard to imagine a time when rhetoric was more divisive (see Howard Dean's comments), or more personal. However, I do take solice in that our nation has weathered through other, extremely-intense times.

break # two

2006-01-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

I've been working on a photo album. Not the online kind, but an actual, physical, display-in-your-room photo album. I've never had a real photo album before, and so the whole thing is kind of new to me. I feel awkward asking friends to pose for pictures; I feel sort of like i'm interrupting the time we're spending together, or that i'm invading their privacy. When I think about it analytically, though, I don't think this is the case.

When I think about it analytically, I recognize that taking a picture is quick, and doesn't have to be the major focus of any given conversation or action. It's something that can occur in the background. These (I think) might in fact be the best pictures of all.

Therefore, i'm resolved, that no matter how awkward I feel, I'm going to begin taking more pictures. Maybe, just maybe, i'll upload them.

break # one

2006-01-01T00:39:00.000-08:00

The new year has quietly delivered itself upon me. Perhaps it snuck in from behind, or perhaps it waited patiently and sprung out from somewhere to my left or right, but in any case, I didn't see it coming.

I'm hesitant and nervous about 2006. I'm not sure if it's the three games of Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne that I was absolutely destroyed in shortly after midnight, or the game of scrabble Emily destroyed me in shortly before, but I've no reason (yet) to feel excited or optimistic about this year.

Basically, I believe that it's important to make progress each and every year. That, each year it's important to improve oneself and one's conditions from the year previous. I'm not sure that I believe in resolutions, though, because the general principle I uphold seems to encapsulate everything and anything a reasolution would include. Therefore, resolutions seem an unnecessary redenduncy at best, and too narrow, too rigid perscriptions at worst.

2005 held some pretty serious and heavy accommplishments for me. In 2006, therefore, i'm not entirely certain i'll be able to out perform what I've done previously. However, there's a multitude of other ways that I can still uphold my general principle. I can, for instance, become a more moral, Godly person, who treats his fellow man (man/woman) better; a person who is more patient, caring and understanding of others. Tolerance, indeed, is a virtue.

In every person, and in every organization, nation, and group of persons there is room for improvement. Some things get better, and other things get worse, and a very few things even stay basically the same. My goal is to improve what I possibly can, and to limit the things that get worse. The stuff that stays the same, is less of a priority than the stuff that needs improvement, and is probably outside of my control.

2005 has been a good year. I became the President of the KSU College Republicans, and a Vice-President of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. I met Roy Blunt, the acting Majority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives, John Stossel, the anchor of 20-20, appeared on Good Morning America, and continued to do good work around the university. I'm proud of myself, and of the things that I've been able to accomplish.

I've done service projects to improve the environment, send burned children to summer camp, and make the holidays brighter for our troops serving overseas. I've been to more places, and done more for other people than any other year of my life. I'm sad to see it go. Hopefully, in this new year i'll be able to draw upon the experiences and accomplishments of the last and propel myself forward with more strength, more vigor, more compassion and intelligence then I've been able to muster with the last.

general # four

2005-12-03T10:36:00.000-08:00

I've sort of lost track of this blog over the last couple of months. I've been busy with school, girls, student organizations, and homework. I'm back now, though, so there's nothing to worry about.

What a semester.

reading-list # one

2005-09-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've been inspired by Leslie's reading list and have decided to create my own. I'm still extremely busy (as I mentioned in my last post) and don't have too much time for independant reading, but I'm still excited about the little I'll be able to do.
Therefore:

Michel Foucault - What Is an Author? (finished 9/16)

school # seven

2005-09-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

I think about writing in Fine Point Pen almost every day. There's so much that I wish to get out; so much that I need to put into writing to help me understand myself that it is hard not to think of the best vechicle I know of to do this.

Even with FPP in my thoughts I rarely find the time to post. I'm so overwhelmed in attempting to keep up with the organizations that i'm, in attempting to keep up with schoolwork and in attempting to keep myself sane in this ocean of dissonance, that I never seem to have enough time. These are all bad arguments for not posting. Unfortunately, they're all I've got.

I spend long periods of time fretting over the fact that I'm not the right leader for the College Republicans. I don't articulate the fundamentals of the Conservative Movement very well. I cannot put a positive spin on them in the Reaganesque way that past presidents have been able. I'm not eloquent. I'm horrible with grammar. I don't think before I speak. All of those things and plenty more.

But yet this duty is mine. I stood up and asked for it. I believe in the essental nature of a Republian Party on campus. I'm too conservative to live around here. And, I take the issues far too serious to brush off those who would take the opposing side. Simultenously, i'm not smart enough to defend against all those who would take me on.

My fellow Republican leaders on campus are quiet and repressed. Out of two meetings this semester, My Vice President and I are the only members of the leadership to have attended both. Quite frankly, I need help. I'm thinking of turning to some new recruits to help shoulder the load. I'm considering coming up with titles for them, and having them help closely with the party.

Beyond that, I really need to sort out a lot of my personality. There's a lot of character traits that I need to solve. I'm such a freakin' riddle, so knee-jerk and frustrated. I feel as if i've been spread thin.

school # six

2005-09-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's September. Again. Finally. I'm so glad that I've made it this far. And, I'm so glad to be back at school. Things are entirely familiar and comfortable again, and so long as they stay the same for the next few years, i'll be able to put off any and all hard decisions. I've spent the last two nights intoxicated with Maureen, Molly, and Trent. I guess they're my drinking buddies. But, that isn't a dismissive thought. They can be really cool.

I'm listening to Bright Eyes's song If Winter Ends, but it doesn't really apply to anything. Summer is in that really odd phase of leaving before Fall has yet to come. I really wish that it wouldn't leave. The Winter's cold and depressing and lasts entirely too long. Weather-wise it's been a great summer in Ohio, better than almost any that I can think of. The summer was always better when I was younger.

I'd write about what's going on at school, but I don't feel like it. It takes up so much of my time. It can be fun, but I really just feel like a "role-player" rather than a sincere individual.

school # five

2005-08-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm back on campus. It feels familiar and comfortable as well as exciting and new. There hasn't been any major changes -- very little new construction. In fact, everything's physically the same. I've changed some, though, and perhaps that accounts for the balance of new and old.

I'm working on lining up the beginning of the semester with the CRs. Things have went pretty well so far -- although i'm hard on myself about presenting the best possible image. Strong, optimistic, reliable, hard-working, etc. Our first major project will be posters depecting 9-11 and the president's strong response. I'm not entirely sure how it will play out, but I remain faithful.

nothing # three

2005-08-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is my last weekend home. After this there ain't no more. I'm packing up my things and i'm wishing everyone goodbye. This is just another move, something that I've become accustomed to. That's been a major part of my life during the last two years -- Packing up and moving. I moved from Goshen Township to Salem, from Salem up to Kent, from Kent back to Salem, and now I'm moving back to Kent. Quite frankly, i'm tired of it.

My brake line busted today. I'm going to replace both back brake lines. Eww. Moter-speak. I hate working on cars. Luckily Dad is willing and able to help. If it was left entirely up to me, I'd never be able to afford all the repairs on a car. I'd probably be a "walker".

Other than that, coffee with Drew this morning was good. It would be nice to have something to do this evening though. So far this weekend has been a blurry mix of Pretty Girls Make Graves and Bright Eyes.

Hopefully Sarah calls back. I haven't seen her for such a long time. Fireworks in the park was on the menu, but I think the rain canceled it.

..Nevermind about any of that stuff with Sarah. Second girl to let me down today. Damn, is this why I miss home?

work # eight

2005-08-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

I'm finished with my internship -- which feels so good to type. It was a harrowing experience at times. In the end, everything worked out alright. I came out with some new friends, and I managed to put a little bit of money away in the bank. I didn't wreck my car (surprisingly) and I think I even won over my bosses before I left. During the last several days there the other intern and myself made out quite a bit (for being at work) which really helped make it go faster.

I've got a lot of contact information from people. I'm going to do my best to follow up with them, although I'm not entirely sure how to do it. When you're working with someone, you have something very blatent in common..when you're not working with them, there's a major gap there. It might be kind of difficult with some of them.

work # seven

2005-08-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

The other intern that's left suggested that we should kiss before she left for her other job. We did. It was short and unpassionate and entirely out-of-place, but other than that, it was good.

I've been given the task of nominating my replacement in sort of a convoluted way, which only makes sense because there's a huge lawsuit going on right now. My boss and several judges are being sued for discrimination in hiring.

That's all.

nothing # two

2005-08-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

Everything is almost finished. That is, this summer, my internship, hopes of being more than just friends with Lillian, and there's probably several things that are escaping me. I'm glad of these things, even though they're each frustrating in their own way. Moving past them will be for the best in the end, i'm sure of it. Although it might be arrogant (self-righteous?) and maybe a little to presumptious, I think that i've matured a lot this summer. Having to deal with the frustration assocated with work (e.g., the other interns, the bailiffs, and the support staff) I think has at least allowed me to examine certain aspects of myself. Generally though, I can't help but feel i've done more harm then good to my reputation. I didn't always handle every situation in the best possible way.

The most senior judge, however, did shake my hand on Monday and tell me that i've done a great job. Today, one of the jailers told me, "I don't care what the others say about you, I think you're the best intern we've ever had." Despite that being a double-handed compliment, I was still happy to hear it. I already knew who "the others" were, and I guess in a way, why they probably say it. I've made mistakes, I'm been arrogant, annoyed, tired, and on occasion, just ignorant, but that was never really my intention. They've often displayed many of the same traits. I don't feel that either of us really has the high ground, that we both are probably to blame. The important thing is though, my focus is on me, and not on them. I know how I want to act, how I want this experience to turn out. I can't control what they do, think, or say. I can only control my reaction to it, and I plan to do that the best I can with the eight days that are left.

nothing # one

2005-07-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Just between me and you: I think this it's crazy:

How i've done nothing, when i needed to do everything;

How i've tried my best;

How i've cared so much;

How little sleep i've gotten;

How i make only adversaries;

How much work i put into this;

How this was nothing that i expected;

How i feel cheated and lied to;

How this is all my fault.

column # two

2005-07-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

World War III has begun. Are any of us surprised? We shouldn't be; we should have seen it coming. Fascism, or oppressive control that seeks to eliminate all non-supported factions from society, is incompatible with the pluralistic and generally tolerant societies of the Western World. Presumably, this incompatibity would be fine, should the reasonably just societies of the West not come into direct cultural conflict with hard-line terrorist groups, or the Fundamentalist Islamic regiemes that support them. This, however, is impossible. We live in a world society, where the exchange of goods and services across national boundaries is indispensable.

Contact was achieved when Mir Aimal Kansi fired an AK-47 assault rifle into cars waiting at a stoplight in front of the CIA agency headquarters on January 25, 1993, and on February 26 of the same year when Islamic terrorists placed a car bomb in a parking garage below the World Trade Center.

And, what about Khobar Towers bombing in 1996 that killed 19 United States service men and wounded 372? Or, in 1997, when an armed man opened fire on tourists from atop the Empire State Building, killing a Danish national and wounding visitors from the United States, Switzerland, France and Argentina. A handwritten note that was found on the man claimed the attack was punishment for the "enemies of Palestine."

In 1998, multiple United States Embassy buildings were bombed in East Africa. These attacks killed hundreds, and landed Osama bin Laden on the F.B.I's Ten Most Wanted list. Osama bin Laden's next attack took place in 2000, against the USS Cole, a United States Navy ship harbored in Yemen. An inflatable raft that was pilated by suicide bombers was loaded with explosives and used to destroy the side of the ship.

All of these attacks occured in the ten years between 1990 and 2000, which means we're leaving out the multiple attacks against the United States on 9/11, against Madrid, Spain, and against London, England and against Egypt.

Indeed, contact has been achieved, and the message should be clear: The United States, along with other peace loving nations, must fight to protect not only its own citizens, but the very ideals that characterize a free-and-open society.

lslamofascism seeks "Islamic theocratic rule -- a rule void of sophistification, of a seperation of church and state, of tolerance and equality," four of the major premises that any just society must be built upon. More than that, Islamofascism is on the march, as evidenced by the most recent terrorist attacks and the intense rhetoric of our enemies.

Just as the forces of freedom and compassion marched to war in the two previous World Wars, fighting against the evils of fascism and unbridled intolerance, they must again bear this terrible cost in the pursuit of securing liberty.

home # two

2005-07-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to a birthday part for Kristen's little brother, Adam. I remember when this kid was asking me about teachers at Goshen Center eementary school. Then, later, when he was asking me about what the junior high would be like. When I think about this, it makes me realize just how much time has actually passed since I was in high school; since my group of high school friends and I were all doing the same things and going to the same places.

Renee and Nick were there also, which was really nice. It's still hard to believe that Renee is engaged to be married. I recently found out that Jenn is also engaged. These are the girls that I grew up with, did all the normal teenager things with, and will be the girls that I will forever remember as they once were. It's weird and kind of sad to think of everyone and everything having changed so much.

We've become set on courses that are very different from one another, and there isn't any turning back. I don't remember consciously choosing anything, but in retrospect it's obvious that there must have been choices.

As I was driving to Kristen's house last night, I traveled on the roads that I used to; the roads with landmarks and memories. Being at her house really drove home just how seperated we are in the things that we're all pursuing. It doesn't feel as if we've grown apart, just that we are apart, that we're doing many different things. Very weird for a group of people who did pretty much everything together.

general # three

2005-07-13T17:14:00.000-07:00

It seems like just yesterday that I wrote in here, but after checking the date of the last post, I guess it's been a few days. Time is really flying, the summer is almost over. I can't wait for it to be over, I can't wait for this internship to be over. I wish I would have been able to earn more money this summer. I'm sure that I'm going to need it this school year, and I guess i'll just have to scrape by. But, whatever it takes. I'll worry about those potential issues when they're closer.

work # five

2005-07-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

I dislike the people I work with so intensely sometimes I can barely stand to think about them.

home # one

2005-07-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's been an eventful weekend. On Friday night, I met Lillian at Brusters, and the two of us went to a concert. There were about 10 bands there, playing various styles of music. Drew and Dreu played, but it was before we made it there. As far as Lillian is concerned, I thought that the night went pretty well. We had a decent connection in the car, when she told me about her dad, and their special songs. She seemed to be laughing and having a good time. The one thing that bothers me is that when I reached over to hold her hand, she really wasn't interested in it. She barely even gave me a goodnight hug. I think it seems reasonable to say that If she was really into me, then I would have at least received a decent hug. After all the time that we've spent talking and sharing, I guess the two of us should feel a lot closer, and maybe that's the problem. I can never put my finger on what's going on inside of her. And, when you can't do that with an emotional girl, you haven't got a chance.

On Saturday, Drew and I went to the coffee shop in the morning. From there, we went to Goodwill, and walked around Salem. Later on, Drew came back to my house, and we went to the mall, Best Buy, and Cici’s Pizzeria in Boardman. Shortly after we got back from Boardman, Drew got a call from some friends who were having a party/bonfire. We went over there and hung out for awhile. Ultimately, I fell asleep about 6:00AM on Sunday morning.

Awhile later, around 8:00AM Sunday, I woke up to say goodbye to mom, who’s going to Florida for a week. She spent the four hours between when I woke up and when she left, yelling at me and trying to make me feel about myself for not "helping" her with things more. The problem there is that I do help out, and was helping out while she was yelling at me. Secondly, many of the things that she wants help with don’t immediately need to be done. When it comes to housework, my philosophy is do what needs done, but don’t go looking for projects. She has exactly the opposite philosophy. When she was about to leave, she also got mad because I didn’t make a big show of saying goodbye. The thing is, I wanted her to leave. She’d been "ripping my head off" for the past four hours. It’s hard to be sad about someone going in that situation. I love my mother, but it’s difficult to be understanding all of the time. She can be pretty crazy.

After saying goodbye to my mother (not a remorseful goodbye in this case) I got a call from Kristen that Renee was having a Forth of July party. This was a really good thing. After a terrible morning, I really needed to be around some of my closest friends. It's been over a month since i've seen Renee, and much longer yet, since I've seen either Jenny or Nick. Nick brought Lillian. I'm glad that she was there. Renee was the first (and only) girl that I've ever loved, and she will always be the girl that I let get away, when I shouldn't have. I met Renee's fiance, Jeremy, and was struck by how much he reminded me of myself. He seems basically honest and good, and I wish the two of them above and beyond my very best.

At the party, Kristen's boyfriend Nate, was giving her a hard time about the amount that she drank. He was doing this by threatening to make her leave, and/or taking her car home while leaving there. The situation was made worse by the alcohol, which heightened the emotions involved. I ended up cuddling with kristen, hand-in-hand, foreheads together, on the couch for awhile. That might be the closest I've ever felt to her. For someone I've known since fifth grade, and someone I've did almost everything with in high school, that saying something.

I let Kristen and Nate go home together alone and had Lillian take me home. I remember riding in the back of her car, with nick upfront, all "rolly polly". Come to think of it, that must have been the effect of the alcohol.

pictures # three

2005-06-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

general # two

2005-06-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

It's cold in here. I'm sitting in the computer room, listening to the Gin Blossom's song Follow You Down. I'm thinking about this summer, the way in which the last four weeks have gone, and I believe that there should be one overriding question posed: Am I better off than I was this time a month ago?

The basic problem with posing that question is that i'm just too tired to provide an honest answer. I'm too tired to consider fully all the aspects of the equation which would make for a truly representative answer. I guess that's the way it goes though. At least i'm doing something honest with my time. I'm not just wasting it by doing nothing, i'm not just out causing trouble all day long. At least i'm earning money, however small of an amount. These are positive things. Though I wouldn't say that they are all that's needed to provide a positive answer to the overriding question.

What i'm doing doing is earning as much money as I could be. I'm not getting as much done for the upcoming school year and for the CRs as I should be. These things really bother me. I want to be the best leader that I can be. Also, I know that is my responsibility for me to do both of these things, not a luxery. I'm not intending to shirk anything, although it feels like that's what I'm doing.

general # one

2005-06-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today is the annual city picnic day for city employees. The city allows everyone to take the day off and pretends to give us a special price on tickets for Geauga Lake. I say "pretends" because a little bit of investigation reveals that the cities' tickets actually cost two dollars above the normal price for entrance. Really though, that doesn't bother me. I'd just pay the regular entrance fee. The crucial factor in my decision not to attend was the lack of the waterpark being open. Without the waterpark, I really wasn't very interested in Geauga Lake.

So, since I've got the day off and i'm home, I decided to do something productive. I filled out and turned in a scholarship application. Hopefully I'll be lucky enough to be awarded some money from the scholarship fund, I could really use it.

As far as paying for school, I'm going to be borrowing a lot of money during the next several years -- especially if I go to law school. During my freshman year of college, I was given a grant for $1600.00 from the federal government. During my sophmore year, that same grant decreased to $800.00. For my junior year, as far as I know, I'll be given no grant aid. That's a pattern of less free money and more non-free (expensive) money. Not a good sign at all.

reflections # one

2005-06-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking back to last summer and how I didn't do much. I didn't have a job. I didn't wake up very early, nor did I go to bed very early. I lived from the A.M. to the A.M., mostly skipping those nasty PM hours in between. Things have really changed.

I'm now waking up at 6:00 AM and coming home from work at around 5:10 (on a good day). The thing that kills me is that although i'm away from home for roughly 11 hours, i'm only getting paid for 6. That sucks (or should suck) in anyone's opinion.

I don't particularily like the people that I work with. Most of them seem to excude a false sense of cheerfulness and sincerity. They're pleasent to your face and hideous to your back. That worries me because i'm gullible. It's easy for me to believe that people like me, mostly because that's what I would like to believe, but it may not always be true. I need to watch my back and remember that it was politics that got me this job and that politics doesn't end at the door.

The worst part about working there is the drive. It's incredibly dangerous for me to be on the road. A combination of the heat (usually 95 + degrees in my car) and the monotany of staring at the road for over an hour could easily lead to my death. Normally, i'm a pretty safe driver, but I often find myself nodding off at the wheel and catching myself. I'm resolved to pull over when this happens, but it's difficult. I have a strong desire to "just make it home".

When I do get home, I have roughly 3 to 4 hours of time, in which I have to fit everything that I need to do. This is a direct comparison to last year, when I had as much time as I needed. I find that I cannot creatively express myself in this time. Work leaves me feeling drained. Especially when, at best, I'm getting 7 hours of sleep per night.

I honestly don't know if i can continue this.

work # four

2005-06-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i'm having my picture taken for my city employee identification badge. I'm glad that I was given advanced knowledge -- many other employees were not so lucky. That is to say, may employees where them upside down, due to the fact they're unhappy with their picture and wish not to display it.

So, what I do at work is carry files, show people (e.g. defendents and attorneys) around and deliver mail. Officially, i'm an intern. But, I end up doing most of the jobs that other people do not want to do. I'm not complaining, it's steady employement that lacks physically hard labor. As soon as possible, i'll update this post with pictures of the courthouse and maybe (if swift) a picture or two from inside. I want to be careful about that, however, because I do not want to run afoul of any laws.

column # one

2005-06-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

The room was large, and since it was early, mostly empty. My friends and I sat around a table, eagerly searching though a book that listed karokee songs. Above us, flags hung from the ceiling representing the branches of military service, along with a flag for the National Guard. On the walls there were numerous American flags and pieces of military memorabilia. On this night, My friends and I were in a V.F.W. chapter, waiting for the evening festivities to start.

As might be expected, the crowd was extremely patriotic. Sometime during the night, the DJ, who happened to be a member of the V.F.W., asked for everyone to please rise and join with him in singing America the Beautiful. My initial response was to smile, as I enjoy open shows of patriotism. And, as usual, the sheer force of passion arose within me, and before the first verse was over with, the hair on my arms was standing straight up and I was singing along whole heartedly.

Shortly after the song finished, however, someone at our table made a remark that sent my temperature rising. The individual said, "This patriotism stuff is overrated. America isn’t so great, really." Now, the wisdom of making such a comment while inside an establishment such as a V.F.W. should be blatantly obvious. What requires analysis, however, is my response to such criticism.

My knee-jerk reaction was to become irate, angrily questioning and eventually, when he persisted, threatening this individual. I want to be especially clear that this individual was not commenting upon the current Bush regime, but upon the very nature of the United States itself. I couldn’t believe that someone would make such a statement in any form, however, it seemed especially incredulous considering our location and the fact that the United States of America is currently at war with a dangerous enemy.

There was something wrong with my reaction. While it is always wrong to threaten someone, it is especially wrong to threaten someone when they are opining upon their nation. This individual was exercising his right of free speech, and after doing so, faced not true criticism, but violence. True criticism would have been justified (in my opinion) as well as a measured debate and, a rather urgent, intellectual spanking. America is by far the greatest nation on earth. But, back to the point, when an individual makes a strong statement, they must stand by their statement and accept peaceful criticism. In effect, they own their criticism and are responsible for the consequences resulting from it.

Patriotism cannot be spread though violence or fear, but rather though explanation. It must be explained that America was created though the desire for religious and intellectual freedom, and that it serves as a beacon of hope for both. It must be explained that America has stood strong against murderous tyrants in two World Wars. It must be explained that America faced off against an evil empire of conformity and indoctrination that ran contrary to human dignity, besting it in the end. And, along with many other things, it must be explained that America values a minority opinion, allowing its’ citizens to tear even herself down. However, when this Yankee is around, anyone criticizing the nature of Uncle Sam had better qualify their statements.

work # three

2005-05-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

The internship continues. I've officially completed 8 days and I’m still learning my way around. I really want to do well, which leaves me vulnerable to criticism. It seems like the more I try to do a good job, the more I realize what I do not know. This leaves me feeling frustrated. It's an interesting balance -- between caring too much, which inherently leads to disappointment when things do not go as well as planned, and not caring enough, which undoubtedly leads to failure.

Today, I was thrown off guard when a fellow intern mentioned that a man was angry with a judge. This man was at least 300 pounds and confined to a very large wheel chair, and was in court due to criminal menacing and assault charges allegedly perpetrated against his elderly mother. His mother, who required a walker to walk, was with him in court. He insulted her in front of me.

When my co-intern said this, I misheard her, and thought that she said the judge was angry with me. I spent the rest of the afternoon (an hour or so) waiting to be summoned by the judge. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I'd done. I had mentioned her re-election campaign once, which technically isn't proper, but it wasn't done so in a way that broke any laws. I figured that it was related to that. Later, when I had the chance, I asked my fellow intern about her comment. She cleared things up and I felt slightly foolish.

The larger question here is, why did I let myself care so much. Why I did I let myself take on the mentality of an elementary school student summoned to the principal's office. I'm going to have to work on building a greater degree of self-confidence. I hadn’t realized that I was so lacking until it smacked me in the face. At least I’ve had a wake up call, before it was too late.

pictures # two

2005-05-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Work # two

2005-05-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

I've started my internship. I'm working in (what I consider to be) a large courthouse, which is about 45 miles (65 minutes) from my house. The drive sucks, but the work is really neat. Basically, I wear a pager, and bailiffs, prosecutors, and sometimes judges page me to bring them files or to escort defendants and the recently convicted to their respective places.

What's neat about the job is the interaction with attorneys. In the four days since I've started, I've solidified my opinion about *not* practicing criminal law. I definitely do not want to prosecute people, I think the risks involved in that are too great. On the other side of the spectrum, I do not want to be responsible for keeping criminals on the street. There's an inherent negative duality to being a good defense attorney (and I do want to be a good attorney) -- you can win your case and someone whose likely to be guilty goes free or you can lose the case and not do your job well. Even in winning, I would feel like I’m at least partly on the losing side.

I'm still not entirely sold on this internship. I'm not making nearly enough money to make it worth my while. However, I'm meeting a lot of neat people, and getting to watch a lot of neat things (e.g., jury trials, arraignments). For the time being, though, I’m staying put and learning as much as I possibly can.

Pictures # one

2005-05-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

School # four

2005-05-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Spring semester is finally over. It's been a terribly long and difficult semester, and i'm glad to finally be done with it. It's weird coming home though, it's as if i'm entering into an entirely different world. Things at home don't operate like they do at school -- there's a huge element of independence that is missing. Also, being at home means focusing on different things, such as finding work, scholarships, and helping my parents with things around the house.

So, this post is for saying goodbye to the 10:00 AM to 4:00 AM schedule, the drunken nights (and the afternoon drinking), the tests and quizzes, and the friends that i've made.

As much as I disliked school initially, I find myself sad at the prospect of facing three months without it. It's funny how things change so rapidly. Two years of my college education are finished, and although I feel like I've learned a tremendous amount of information, I still don't feel like it's enough. And, when did I get so old?

I'm going to make a conscious effort to meet up with old friends and make this one "helluva" summer.

Work # one

2005-05-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

I'm being recommended by the local political director as an intern for the Akron Municipal Court. So far, my understanding is that I'll work for a judge, preparing and organizing his or her files and making sure that they are prepared to hear a case -- that all the relevant information is in front of them. I'm really excited about this opportunity. Should I get the job (i've sent out a resume, i'm waiting for a return e-mail about an interview) then i'm going to work as hard as I can. I hope I can get a law school reference out of this.

The basic draw back to the job is that I live a little over an hour away. The drive is entirely highway, which i'm not used to driving on. I'm also not used to large urban environments. So, everything about this job, assuming that I get it, will be an adventure.

School # three

2005-05-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

My first grade is in; a "B" in political methods. That's frustrating. I feel that I should have (and perhaps maybe I did) earn an "A" in that class. I'm currently taking it up with my professor. She was not in the political science "bullpen" when I checked, so I just finished e-mailing her.

I need to get every single point, and every single "A" that I possibly can. I had a really good feeling about this semester, but perhaps I was too confident, too optimistic, and it clouded the reality of the situation. I know that for most people, normal people, a "B" is nothing to be upset about. However, I'm very much worried about my GPA. If I really am going to make it into law school, then i'm going to need as high an average as I can possibly earn. Since i've been at this campus, i've already been academically discriminated against once, by a professor who disliked my opinions on Michel Moore. This isn't a post about politics, so i'll leave that for another time.

Recieving a grade that I didn't expect is making me wonder about the rest of my grades. Hopefully, I've earned "B" in either Legal Environment of Business or Microeconomics, and round out my average with "A's" in U.S. Formative and Argumentation (likely to happen). I'm still not offering a guess on my Philosophy of Law class, although I know that I earned either an "A" or a "B."

School # two

2005-05-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

Well, my argumentation final went well today. This should be the second final that I've scored 100% on. I was a debater in high school, and have put all of this theory into practice at a high level. So, simply "learning" it for class has not been difficult. The most frustrating part is knowing that I would do things differently to more effectively teach the material.

The rest of my finals, I'm not so confident about. I still have yet to do anything substantive for my Microeconomic's final. Also, i'm behind where I should be for my Legal Environment of Business final. I've really enjoyed that class. It's solidified my aspirations of becoming a lawyer. I enjoy classes that make me feel like i'm learning something that will be useful in the real world, and Legal Environment has done exactly that.

When I first entered into the class, I knew so little about the "law" and how the legal system works. Now, while I'm still far from an attorney, I have a better than average understanding of most civil law procedures. From tort law, contract law, consumer protection law to product liability law, we covered a huge range of material. However, it was sensical, which makes me believe that it must have been an effective summation.

CRs # ONE

2005-05-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

Much too early this morning myself and two of the other CRs walked in a parade for a local judicial candidate. Our shirts were much too large, and we looked a little goofy. Yours truly walked in front of the float (which happened to be a Dodge 3500 diesel truck, with the Judge on a seat in the bed) carrying a sign that read: "Here come's da Judge." The sign had gavels crossed on either side of the slogan.

The thing is, despite all of that, it was a good time. Angie seemed to have particularly enjoyed handing candy out to the youngsters who lined the street. Andrew was more quiet, but I think that he had a reasonable good time as well. Having a good time is important, it will make the times that are less fun more bearable and build good will amongst the group. I'm a little disappointed that not more members of the group came, but considering that we're in the middle of final's time, it is understandable.

After the parade, the local political director took us all out to lunch. This was the best part of the entire experience. He is a former member of the group and still bears a lot of ties to the university. So, getting advice from him proves valuable. Lunch was good and we all had several good discussions. In retrospect, the parade and lunch went better than I expected.

School - # ONE

2005-05-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

Today was my U.S. formative period final exam day. Covered on the final exam were: The year’s 1844 through roughly 1860, including the Civil War, the Temperance Movement, Transcendentalism, the Kansas-Nebraska Act, The Mexican War, the creation of the state of Texas, the Second Great Awakening, the Compromise of 1850, and several other issues.

Ultimately, I chose to write my essay on the turbulent decade of the 1850's, citing eleven separate examples that increased sectionalism between the North and the South, highlighting each event's significance. The bonus essay was on Ohio's role in the Anti-Slavery, Underground Railroad movement.

I'm feeling very confident about this test. My writing came out exactly as I hoped that it would. Strong, decisive and persuasive. Hopefully the rest of my finals go this well.

Right now, I'm taking a study break from preparing my argumentation study guide. I also have good feeling about this class. My philosophy law of paper, microeconomic’s final and legal environment of business final, however, will be the true tests. This has been a very successful semester, I just hope that through studying enough I can do its end justice.